Tame Impala

Mystery Virus Wipes Out Perth V Fest

Symptoms

Once infected, the victim will feel a bit funny around 10 minutes prior to the enslaught. After the onset, the victim will proceed to throw up the entire contents of their stomach. After the initial vomit, the infected will be unable to keep down any liquid/solid without it being rejected by the body for a period of several hours.  Other symptoms include a fever, dehydration and a general feeling of complete shitness.

Cause

Unknown at this point. Early suspects include:

- Dodgy plane food. A majority of the victims were on the same early morning Melbourne to Perth flight.

- A Big Day Out spy, who was spottted backstage at the festival, in an attempt to sabotage the V festival.

Also worth mentioning, is the high incidence of the virus to people who's name begin with the letter J. (Juanita from the Howling Bells, watch out!)

The virus is highly contagious.

Known Victims

The following is a list of known victims infected by the virus. If you see any of the following people in the next few days, I suggest you run like a motherfucker.

In chronological order of infection:

Jimbo (Tame Impalas world renowed sound guy)

Leo (One half of the Canyons)

Joel (Wolf & Cub)

Jay (Tame Impala)

Jodie (Tame Impala manager, Mintest lady on earth)

Johnny (Children Collide)

Dom (Tame Impala)

Posted on April 6, 2009 at 12:28pm.